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Yoga: Reigniting Former Flames

For years, I have heard stories about people who have not only benefited from yoga but have had a phenomenal transformation due to their yoga practice: yoga helped them walk again, or touch their toes, or find balance, or lose weight, or get off medication…the list goes on. I have read the anatomy books and articles on which poses strengthen which parts of the body or how different poses alleviate different health conditions. I instruct students on pranayama, breath control, and balance. On the street, I speak of the wonders of yoga. Yet, I never had my own real yoga story to tell.

Until now.

At age seven I started running. At age twelve running was something I did. At age sixteen running was how I found adventure. At age twenty running was my meditation.  At age twenty-four running was in my soul. At age thirty-one my knees gave out.

During my early thirties I made excuses (none made sense) as to why I didn’t run: no nearby trails (I was a trail runner), too much graduate school, I rode a bike, I had a dog. The reason I was not running was simple: I could no longer run. My knees hurt. I tried to run through the pain, I tried to lose weight, I tried different shoes. I just could not run. Over the last six years, every few months I put on my running shoes, ran out the door only to return hobbling — the pain was too much.

During this time I discovered yoga.  More precisely, I discovered power yoga. The transition from running to yoga was almost painless as I sweated out toxins, frustration, and stress in a hot room with other A-type personalities. But, at times, I missed my first love: the sound of my breath as my feet hit the ground, running along mountain trails, stumbling over roots and rocks. The excitement before a race and the medal afterwards. The runners high.

Over the years I became serious about my yoga practice.  I went deeper within myself. I began teaching. I left power yoga and discovered the vast array of yoga styles offered. I stopped flowing so much and started to concentrate more on muscle engagement and alignment. I began to let go of the ego, and start over with the fundamentals of each pose.  I let myself experiment, fall, and find out what happens with my body in each pose. How the lift of  my quadriceps, an inner thigh spiral, or engaging my core affected my entire body…mind included. I played with my breath and how that could take me deeper into shapes.  I began to move beyond the physical and into the different koshas, or bodily layers, to find a mind, body, and spirit connection.

Something happened. Not overnight. Not suddenly. A few months ago I went for a run, no pain. I kept at it, no pain. I increased mileage, no pain. I picked up my pace, no pain. I felt like Garuda, the mythical bird, shinning brighter than the sun and soaring through the heavens.

At one time I ran six days a week, I now rejoice I run three days a week. I am thinking of running a race. Ideally, I would love to win a medal like I could years ago and here is where my yoga practice serves me. Not the asana practice, but the practice of mindfulness, compassion, and non-attachment. The part of my practice where I notice when my ego gets in the way. At those times, I remind myself, I am simply content that I am running.

Do You Mind? If Not, What Do You Miss?

Right now I am absorbed in Thich Nhat Hanh’s book Peace Is Every Step. The book is full of quick anecdotes, stories and meditations (no more than 2 pages) that invite the reader to tune into their breath and become aware of their own body, mind, and how they interact with the people and environment around them. I find that each entry has a perfect place for every day. I try not to read more than 3 passages a day…and often, needing to process the the words a bit deeper, I reread what I read the day before.

A few posts back I mentioned that I am a fast eater. I am working on this and recently told my husband that I felt we needed to eat at the table. We have a habit of making dinner, putting out television trays and watching a movie while we eat — not fully processing the food, not talking to each other, detaching from not only our own mind and body, and also separating from each other. Because of this tendency (and my obvious over-awareness of my mindless, speed eating) I was drawn to the passage “Eating Mindfully.”

In “Eating Mindfully,” Nhat Hanh discusses the importance of sitting to eat without distraction; being mindful of not only your food but also those who you share this meal with. I began to think, by turning on the TV, by distracting ourselves with outside stimulation, rather than sitting at a table, face-to-face, sharing a meal, what is it that my husband and I avoiding? Are we avoiding each other? Are our lives so hectic that we escape to the artificial world rather than tuning into ourselves and each other?  I am not afraid that my  marriage is failing nor do I feel that we are in a bad place. I just wonder what aspects of our relationship are we not nourishing because we tune each other out just as we tune out the food we eat, the air breath, and refuse to let our minds settle on our breath. On a larger scale, how does this behavior translate into relationships I have with friends, families, students and acquaintances? As I ponder these question in my own life, I ask YOU: How does your behavior affect both you and others? What do you miss by mindlessly distracting yourself from being completely present?