Applying Old Fashion Etiquette to an Online World

I am stating the obvious when I say the last couple of years forced changes in our everyday life. Even for the most mentally flexible, it has not been easy. As we lost our in-person interactions, we relied on technology to buoy us. More specifically, we became dependent on video teleconferencing. From baby showers to birthdays to book clubs, gatherings became online events as every generation learned how to transition to videoconferencing. During 2020, working from home became the norm and businesses learned how to adapt. As we emerge back into the in-person world, we are finding it much more hybrid as in-person events and teleconferencing intertwine. 

For most people, there is an awkwardness to teleconferencing. When we are in-person, so much of our communication is non-verbal. Often unknowingly, we are responding to eyebrow raises, body position, facial movement, and more. Studies estimate that we respond to non-verbal cues 70-93% of the time. When we are communicating online in such places as Zoom, Google Meet-up, or Microsoft Teams, many of these non-verbal cues are obscured. And we use filters that seem to blend our facial twitches and movements, making it difficult to accurately interpret non-verbal cues.  As we engage in videoconferencing, we are learning a new way to communicate that is absent of some nonverbal cues we have unknowingly come to rely on. 

So, how do we navigate this new landscape?

Well, pat yourself on the back, because you already are an explorer on this new terrain. Like traditional communication, the best thing to do is introduce yourself: Unmute, introduce yourself, and share something pertinent about yourself to that meeting, group, or class. Then offer “the mike” to someone else. No matter the forum, with verbal cues or not, going first can be hard. 

One of the easiest ways that you can connect on teleconferencing is to look in the camera when you speak.

This gives the impression that you are looking directly at the person/s you are speaking with. In-person eye contact is an important social skill that is necessary to simulate. Because of the lack of fine non-verbal cues, it is important to be cognizant of your body language. When someone speaks, sit up straight and direct your entire torso towards them. This “open-torso” position is said to convey the message that you are actively listening. Be sure to lean-in when someone speaks. Show your interest!

This is a new time, the rules aren’t set, the majority of us are living, learning, and creating simultaneously in real-time. Some are saying that the ability to converse is a dying art. I think we are expanding our ability to connect in different ways. As communication does evolve, let’s remember, the fundamental basics of etiquette remain the same: consideration, respect, and honesty.